We OWN Target!

We own Target.  Um...Yes, we dooooo!

My BFF and I have been spending some quality time shopping lately.  Here we are last week at The Alley or Tai Pan Trading I can't remember.

Yesterday we hit Target.  If you have ever shopped with us, you know, we are the shoppers you love to hate. We are WAAAAY too loud and we act like we are the only people in the store, cuz you know, we own Target.   We are nice if you talk to us, really, we are approachable, but you will probably have to interrupt a non-sensicle conversation like this....

BFF: "Oh, wait, stop, I need a blender.

ME:   "you neeeeed a blender?"

BFF: "Yes, mine broke" (or something like that)

ME:  "I hate blenders"

BFF: "Yeah?"

ME:  "...they are a pain in the ass to clean...ooo, look pillows"

I think our sense of entitlement stems from us still living in the pit of the valley of hell town we grew up in.  "Get out of our way, we lived here before any of you people!" We did, really.

ME: "The Boss needs new pillows." (Maybe he won't be irritated with me shopping at dinner time if I bring back new pillows)

BFF: "I need an iron."

ME:  "...they are over here." (walking to irons)

BFF:  (Walks in the complete opposite direction to look at towels.)

ME:  (Standing by myself in front of the irons)

BFF: (From three aisles over) JAN!...WHERE DID YOU GO?!...OH,  THERE YOU ARE!

ME:  "Here buy this iron, I have it, it works good."

BFF: "ok"

Back to the bed and bath section, cuz we both need towels.

ME: "Ooo, look at the black and white bath stuff"

BFF: "Pretty. Look at the shower curtain."

 

ME:  "Ooo, look at the bath mat". (price $25.) F#$% that, I'm not paying 30 bucks for a bath mat. 

BFF: (again)  "Look at the shower curtain".

 

ME:  "Ooo, pretty, Mine's better I only paid $9. for it at Walmart. (it's not really better, but I like it)

"Oh crap, we gotta go." (After all, it IS dinner time)

BFF: "Yeah, I have to pick up Kody."

ME: "I have to go to Barnes and Noble.  Wanna go to Barnes and Noble?

BFF: "Ok"

 

We don't own Barnes and Noble, but we DO talk on our phones while shopping there.  I know, you hate us.